I came to Malama from jail

Here in treatment I have developed a love for myself that wasn’t easy. I also have self-respect and I value and cherish what I have because it feels good, it feels right. I came to Malama from jail. Jail was my bottom, no way out, nowhere to hide, no one to lie to and manipulate. I used this bottom as an opportunity to get well because I knew if I’d gone back out and used, I probably would’ve tried to take my life…my pain and past runs deep. I hurt all the people who loved me and I punished myself for that by staying in my sickness, my addiction. But in treatment I have learned communication, coping skills, about my anger, forgiveness and fear. I have learned so much and gained so much. I have moved forward in spite of what has happened. I know that there are a lot of things ahead of me that I need to deal with. Today I can. I am not afraid and fragile as I was. Today I know what my priorities and responsibilities are. Today I love and respect myself. I care about me and what happens to me, and I know that my disease of addiction will never go away. So I have learned and will continue every day to stay aware and committed to my recovery, doing what I need to stay safe, stay sober. I love being a mother. I love being me. I love being everything I can be. I can walk with my head up continuing to go forward because today I believe in myself.